I know that this is in direct and flagrant opposition to pretty much everything I’ve ever written here, but sometimes I wonder if I really DO want a somebody. I mean, I think I do.

-------> Important note: Last night as I was drifting off to sleep I had the entire thought process that I started above. Down to word for word. I must say, it was good, too. I went over it my mind, essentially wrote it in my mind, really. But did I get up, cut on the computer, and write it? Or jot it down on paper? Noooooooooooo. The result, sadly, is that this morning it was GONE. Poof. Just gone. I’m trying to reconstruct so bear with me.

Like last night, I was a little lonely. I took dear son to meet his dad and by the time I got home it was after 8:00 and dark. I opened a bottle of wine and watched two hours of What Not to Wear. Perhaps not the most productive use of my time, but whatever. My phone didn’t ring or cheerfully buzz to alert me to text messages. Like I said, a little lonely. But this morning I must say that I’m glad to be here alone enjoying my coffee and my computer, still in my pajamas.

Maybe it’s being strong enough to weather the honestly, increasingly-not-that-often spells of loneliness and wondering if I’ll ever ever ever find anyone. Maybe that’s the secret.

I am a little stingy with my time. I don’t know that I’m still willing to keep doing the set up (via online dating usually) meeting, the stupid small talk, blah, blah, blah. Actually, I know I’m not willing to do this anymore because I’ve already canceled my subscription to eharmony.

Lately have daydreams of the our-eyes-met-across-a-crowded-bookstore variety. I’m thinking that I’ll ride shotgun and let Serendipity and her cool older brother Fate drive the car.

(Sorry, guys. Like I said, I toooootally lost my train of thought and still haven't put it all back together. It was pithy, insightful, dare I say brilliant, too.)