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Most people reading this already have the 411. But to summarize, CyberGuy told me that basically -- he is interested in me just that he has simply had a very rough couple of weeks and that when his health issues are resolved he will be back to normal. (Health issues being a somewhat major surgery coming up soon.)
I gave him an easy out, which he didn't take. From there, I made a conscious decision to suspend disbelief and give him the benefit of the doubt. This mainly means that I have to be patient, which, believe me, is NOT one of my strong points, by any stretch of the imagination. But I am going to stay low-key and wait until he is back to normal and then see if normal is anything like the CyberGuy who I first met and really, really liked.
I'll keep you posted on how this goes. (-:
In the meantime, I did have an epiphany yesterday (thanks, L.!). See, a dear friend had been trying, quite tactfully, to point out that perhaps it was ME who was being self absorbed by not stopping to think about how said health issues may be affecting his whole outlook.
Instead, I was all focused on how he just didn't like me anymore and if he did, doesn't he seem like he'd be concerned about how his behavior, and the radical change thereof, was affecting me. Notice something there? All those "me's"?? Yeah, see that? I didn't for some reason. Now that I can objectively look at it from that angle, I feel pretty silly. And spoiled. And more silly.
Now the only danger is going to be my going 180 degrees in the opposite direction; going overboard to reassure him that I'm not self absorbed and I am, in fact, interested, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, experience has told me that anytime you're honest and act as interested as you really are, it carries an inherent risk of running off the guy. So I must practice some restraint, and like patience, it's not something I'm experienced with.
In two weeks, I'll be in the city where he lives for the weekend. Do I casually drop into conversation that I'll be there and hopes that he jumps on that and asks about meeting me? Or do I not even let him know I'll be there and wait until he's all recovered before we make that step?
I gave him an easy out, which he didn't take. From there, I made a conscious decision to suspend disbelief and give him the benefit of the doubt. This mainly means that I have to be patient, which, believe me, is NOT one of my strong points, by any stretch of the imagination. But I am going to stay low-key and wait until he is back to normal and then see if normal is anything like the CyberGuy who I first met and really, really liked.
I'll keep you posted on how this goes. (-:
In the meantime, I did have an epiphany yesterday (thanks, L.!). See, a dear friend had been trying, quite tactfully, to point out that perhaps it was ME who was being self absorbed by not stopping to think about how said health issues may be affecting his whole outlook.
Instead, I was all focused on how he just didn't like me anymore and if he did, doesn't he seem like he'd be concerned about how his behavior, and the radical change thereof, was affecting me. Notice something there? All those "me's"?? Yeah, see that? I didn't for some reason. Now that I can objectively look at it from that angle, I feel pretty silly. And spoiled. And more silly.
Now the only danger is going to be my going 180 degrees in the opposite direction; going overboard to reassure him that I'm not self absorbed and I am, in fact, interested, blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, experience has told me that anytime you're honest and act as interested as you really are, it carries an inherent risk of running off the guy. So I must practice some restraint, and like patience, it's not something I'm experienced with.
In two weeks, I'll be in the city where he lives for the weekend. Do I casually drop into conversation that I'll be there and hopes that he jumps on that and asks about meeting me? Or do I not even let him know I'll be there and wait until he's all recovered before we make that step?
posted by KDA at 9:10 AM
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