Updates Galore!

Sorry, guys, for not posting sooner.

First, Tim. He texted me a couple of times Friday evening, although I didn't respond because I was on a date with Flyboy (more about that in a minute). Saturday morning Tim called to make sure we were still on.

Now, I must admit that I had such a lovely time Friday evening that I wasn't so much about going on this date, you know?

Speaking of - I debated long and hard about casually mentioning to Flyboy that I had said date Saturday. I didn't. But what would you have done? I just couldn't decide if it would come across as being honest and forthcoming OR more like braggy and bitchy. AND for all I know, Flyboy is talking/IMing/emailing/dating several other girls without mentioning it to me and for me to admit to this date would make me look like I'm way more serious than him, right?

ANYWAY. I met Tim in Jackson and he's pretty cute and awfully, awfully nice. He's interesting and we had little trouble keeping the conversation going. He grew up in upstate New York and has lived in South Dakota and Louisiana and I like that - he has some interesting views. I guess I'm being awfully vague but I don't really know how to describe it. I'm not sure if there was any chemistry there or not, mainly I think because I was some preoccupied with thoughts of Flyboy. You know?

Tim texted me a couple of times that evening and he seems so nice. If nothing else, he is somebody who I'm glad to know. Whether it goes any further - and honestly, even if I'd never met Flyboy, who knows then, either.

Back to Flyboy. He called Friday afternoon when I was getting ready. He asked what I was doing and when I told him I was changing clothes for the third time, he laughed. He asked if I was nervous or excited and I told him both. I met him in Batesville and it was a relief; he's cute and has these great chivalrous (sp?) manner. We hugged when we met and had a good drive into Oxford. I showed him around the town a little bit before we went down to the square and had dinner. We stayed at the restaurant for a couple of hours, talking, had a couple of beers. We walked around the square a bit before sitting on a bench in front of the courthouse. There we talked more before he KISSED me and that was very, very nice.

Around 11:00 or 11:30, I suggested we leave. We got back to Batesville and my gosh, made out like a couple of Baptist teenagers for about 20 minutes.

Okay, this post is getting so long and I haven't even gotten to Sunday yet. Let me stop here and I hope to update more this afternoon. Sorry to leave you hanging, but...

Big Weekend

Ya'll, it looks like I have THREE dates this weekend.

Flyboy (wow have things heated up with him) is supposed to fly late this afternoon but he's thinking of calling in with a family emergency. If that's the case, he and I are having dinner in Oxford tonight.

Tomorrow I'm meeting Tim in Jackson for lunch.

Then Sunday I'm going to Flyboy's cabin at Sardis. We made those plans first before he decided to take off today, too.

It's shaping up to be an interesting weekend.

I hope to have a good post Monday...

Another One Bites the Dust

A moment of respectful silence for Dead Ted, please.

Okay, that was long enough.

As expected, he did not call this weekend as he enthusiastically said he would when he emailed Thursday or Friday or whenever it was. I don't have a clue what his deal is but I have better things to do than to try to figure it out.

It's official now - Ted is no more.

Again with the Missing Clever Headline

A few more updates...

I talked to Flyboy this afternoon and I had a good time chatting with him. Something has changed...in that I'm not trying to figure out anymore what it is about him that I'm not *quite* getting or liking or whatever because I think I am liking him. We'll see where this goes.

Tyler Durden emailed this morning. I like his sense of humor. He has not mentioned anything about getting together. We both seem to enjoy corresponding. For all I know, he's had dates every night for the past two weeks, but I think he is simply at home with his family.

I had a nice email from CyberGuy today. It is nice being back in touch with him; I really did enjoy getting to know him.

This is so interesting and so foreign to me. I'm the one who *always* had a boyfriend, who had never been alone. I came to terms with that and now - look at all these possibilities? Whodathunkit. This playing the field thing is still new to me. Before, my MO was to get ALL involved and wrapped up in one guy, generally someone who I know only, or mostly, from online conversations, which tend to be skewed because, well, I don't know why, they just do. Actually, skewed is not the right word. Just more - it feels like you know someone much better than you really do. Or that's been my experience. But - and Laura is so proud of me - I'm learning to keep several balls in the air because you JUST NEVER KNOW.

Case in point:

Oh, and Ted, who seemed so very thrilled to hear from me last week and was looking forward to talking to me when he called this weekend, remember him? Yeah, he hasn't called. At this point, if he does I may not answer the phone.

To Bring You Up To Speed

Remember Tim, from Hattiesburg? He asked me out for next Saturday. He is an interesting guy to talk to and I'm looking forward to it.

Ted emailed today and said he'd call me over the weekend; I am *not* holding my breath.

Flyboy phoned last night, although I missed the call because I was trying to get dear son to sleep. I will probably call him tonight.

And that's all my updates.

That Wasn't So Bad

I had lunch with the Farmer and it went pretty well. It seemed slightly easier to make conversation this time.

But I still hope to goodness that he knows that this falls within the realm of "friends having lunch and nothing more."

I haven't responded to Ted's email from Monday, although I plan to later today. If I have time.

Don't Wanna

Do ya'll remember the farmer from a few posts back? Out of the freaking blue, he called this morning and asked if I'd like to have lunch sometime. As if from far away, I heard myself say, "Sure!"

Why oh why do I do this?

I made some yummy chicken salad last night and I was rather looking forward to enjoying that tomorrow at lunch at the park and a good book like I did today.

Yeah, Well, Whatever

Oddly enough, after I emailed Ted yesterday and told him that I could not, in fact, get together Saturday he suddenly had to work Saturday morning anyway. Shocking, isn't it? I suspect that either he's full of it and is saving face or if he does actually have to work Saturday, he wasn't planning on telling me until Friday or something.

I haven't heard from Flyboy in a couple of days so I may have successfully ran him off. Although he was going back to work early this week, so who knows.

Tyler Durden is out of town, but has sent a couple of brief, although friendly, emails.

And ya'll? I guess I'm losing my nerve or something. Because even if he does suggest that get together, I don't think I want to. Know why? Because after we meet, if he's like every single other guy who I've met online, we'll communicate for another week, tops, before the emails will become more sporadic and impersonal before slowly, painfully halting for good.

I have a ferocious headache because I've been staring at the computer screen ALL MORNING. I've done a little writing, but mostly reading the archives at www.dooce.com. She is a great writer.

Next, Please

I'm cutting Ted loose. The last contact he bothered making was last Wednesday when he assured me that he'd email me the next day. And I haven't heard from him since. Now, that's just rude. And I don't need that shit. I mean, he once called me during the day because he went out to his car to get something and had a minute. So I don't buy any business about wanting to yet being too busy to call/text/email.

Last week we made tentative plans to get together next Saturday, the 20th, but actually, I already have plans that I had forgotten about; a friend is taking some pictures of me to use as my author's photograph for a book I have coming out late this summer. The plans are already written on my calendar and everything. So I'll just email him Tuesday or so and make a half-hearted effort at sounding regretful that I'm going to miss our getting together.

In the meantime, Tyler Durden grows ever more intriguing. I may grow some balls and ask him out for next weekend.

Then there's also Tim, who I talked to on the phone last night. I like the way he thinks. It's independent and kind. Maybe I'll ask HIM out for next weekend.

That way, I can go ahead at meet at least one of these guys, have him pretend he's interested, and then never contact me again and just go on and get it over with.

Or maybe, I'll stay in and paint my fingernails and drink wine and write and plan fantastic things. We'll see.

Also, Flyboy. You know, I also talked to him last night on the phone, and I think I may have at least partly figured out what it is...he just ain't all that fun to talk to. It was a little, well, almost boring.

Working on a Mystery

Actually, I think I may HAVE figured out the mystery with Ted.

It’s simply a case of his priorities being focused elsewhere, mainly on his children. I think he likes me. I don't think this is a colossal mindfuck or games or the like.

How can you fault a guy for focusing on his kids, right? He has sole custody and they mean the world to him, as well they should.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s not even that he may not like me as much as I like him so much as he is simply unused to making time, or taking time, for anything in his life except for kids, family, work, and himself – and in that exact order, too, I’m pretty sure. He’s said as much before, in offhand remarks, about how he knows he should make more time for himself, etc.

Do I sound delusional? Really. Tell me. I want to know.

Because I may be over-thinking things (as I am wont to do) and it may be waaay simpler – that he ain’t into me like I am into him.

What do you think?

I had this revelation because yesterday he emailed and in closing, asked if I was game to try to get together again. I emailed back and answered that I was and hey, what did his Saturday look like. He responded that he and the kids had plans for the weekend; movies from Blockbuster and pizza. Mkay.

But he did express interest in what kind of visitation schedule my dear son had with his dad in hopes that he and I could coordinate, which is a good idea. And a good sign, too, that he’s thinking that way. Truth be told, I do have dear son this weekend so next weekend really IS better. But still.

So I think we’re going to try to get together the weekend of the 20th. Not sure where or anything else yet. So we’ll see.

In the meantime, Tyler Durden grows more and more interesting. And Flyboy is fun to talk to, so I’m not sure what my problem with that is. Except that his picture? He’s cute and all but he strikes me as someone who you couldn’t trust. Someone who would make fun of you behind your back to his friends. Don’t know why I think that.

We've Got a Couple of Live Ones Here

Except for Ted. Because I haven't heard from him since Thursday, when he emailed me, asking me to email him the next day, as he'd be at his desk all day and we could email back and forth. As requested, I did email him Friday morning and haven't heard from him sense. What do you make of that?

Flyboy, who I've mentioned before, seems to be pretty nice. We've talked on the phone a couple of times and have emailed back and forth. In fact, he asked me out for Saturday evening but I didn't go. I had some work I needed to do at home and didn't feel great - cold or sinus or something. He seems nice enough, so I'm not sure what it is and why I didn't leap at the chance to go. It's something I can't quite put my finger on.

Then there's Tyler Durden (anyone get that reference?), who's fairly new. He is a nursing student and seems really cool. He has a kind of quirky sense of humor that I like. I have no idea what he looks like, which he has remarked upon. That makes it kind of interesting. We haven't talked on the phone, just emailed. He, too, asked me out last weekend - he had plans Saturday evening with friends but asked if I wanted to see a movie that afternoon. And I did want to go but since I had turned down Flyboy and did still have work to do, I didn't feel right going with him. And, too, was feeling kind of cruddy. I asked him for a rain check.

And THEN there is Tim, an occupational therapist in Hattiesburg. He and I have exchanged emails and text messages and Saturday evening we talked on the phone. Seems cool - grew up in upstate New York, so he has a different perspective, which is appealing.

So there are my updates. Some potential there with at least one of these, I hope, but I do still wonder what on earth happened to Ted. I liked him.

Oh, well.

In Which Confusion Reigns

(Did I spell "reigns" right? It looks funny, doesn't it?)

Man, alive.

So Ted calls last night. He’s been sick all weekend and sounded pretty awful. He didn’t get much sleep over the weekend as both his young children were sick as well.

We got caught up and I mentioned that Memphis in May would be kicking off and if we were in Memphis this weekend, it could be really fun, because hey – it’s Memphis in May or it could be crowded and miserable, because crap – it’s Memphis in May. He said, “Ur, maybe we should try for the following weekend.” Turns out, there is a festival in his neck of the woods that he and his kids are going to and then later, he and some friends are going to hear Survivor and the Guess Who play at the same festival. Which is cool. But the following weekend is Mother’s Day and so I’ll have only Saturday available. He said that we would work something out. So now I have tentative plans to get together weekend after next. I think.

I am not altogether sure what’s going on here, although I suspect it’s a simple case of my being more into him than he is into me, a feeling I am familiar with, unfortunately. Of course, I’m also impatient and neurotic, so who knows.

There may be another potential victim on the horizon…let’s call him Flyboy as he’s an airline pilot in Memphis. “Met” him, as it were, on a more respectable online dating venue. He went to the same little university here in the Delta as I did, which is funny. Seems nice. So we’ll see.

Have I told you that I heard from CyberGuy last week? I had an email from him last Monday. It seemed heartfelt. He is still not feeling his best, to say the least, but he said he just wanted me to know that he was still interested in me, that he’s not seeing anyone else, etc. I FINALLY wrote him off a while back yet it’s interesting that we’re still in touch. Must be some kind of connection there, right? This has been going on, in some form or fashion, since January.

Insert Clever Headline Here Because I Can't Think of One

Is there anything lonelier than hitting that refresh button on your email page and have it come back up with nothing? Because if there is, I don’t want to know about it.

I mean, I can deal – finally – with Ted, The Sheriff, CyberGuy, the whole lot of ‘em, not calling. But geez. Not to have email from a friend? Even an annoying forward? Or, shit, how about some spam. Throw me a bone. Please.

This likely belongs in the “Things I Never Dreamed I’d Hear This Woman Say (Or Write) Column” but I think I’m giving up on online dating. (Wait – let me qualify that by saying I think I’ve given up on meeting and dating guys via Match.com, anyway.) Yep, me, perhaps the most boy-crazy gal you could ever hope to meet.

The whole thing has gotten old. I’ve grown rather weary of it. It was fun and fizzy and pretty darn cool for a while. But now, between episodes such as those that took place with Craig Who Is Dead to Me, aka Asshole and The Playa, I just don’t know. (Before any of you point this out, I realize I do reference Dead Craig fairly often. This is because I don’t want to forget him. The little shit taught me a valuable, albeit painful, lesson.)

Here’s why I may turn away from online dating. Or from that particular web site anyway: because it’s a freaking meat market.

Dear friend Laura pointed out to me this weekend, whilst we were drinking together via the phone (hey don’t laugh and be glad we do that – otherwise I’d be drunk dialing some of you folks), her theory on why I am, in particular, so susceptible to this particular form of dating. It’s a good theory and I think she’s right. But that’s a story for another post.

Days Go By and Still I...

A few updates, all of which pretty much suck:

For one thing, the aforementioned trip to Memphis never took place. Ted’s kids got sick and then his dad, who is on up there in age, was ill as well. Ted’s parents keep the children when he is gone, which meant he had no sitters, ergo our trip was cancelled. When we spoke and emailed on Thursday, he sounded pretty disappointed.

However, we are now entering day four with no word from him. I don’t know what to think about all that. Time will tell.

In other news, The Playa is officially a freak. Remember, he sent me his digital camera a few weeks ago? He and I had, I thought, made our peace with the fact that provocative pictures of me would not be forthcoming. However, last night whilst we were IMing he was all wanting to catch an attitude about it and kept using these card-playing analogies: “I’m calling your bluff. It’s time to lay the cards out on the table.” Huh? I mean, WTF? He told me he was tired of my game playing and my BS (?) and he shall not talk to me anymore because I hadn't taken any photos. I said something along the lines of, Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

I mean, really. Not sure where all that came from. Dude, he and I have been IMing for darn near two months. I thought we were buds!

The whole rather took me aback but whatever. Just goes to show…these guys you meet online, you just NEVER KNOW. Oh and I’m sending the camera back to him today.

Freak.