I Really Wonder About Myself Sometimes

I think I'm too neurotic to be in a relationship, cyber or otherwise.

Really.

Hope Springs Eternal

Oh. My. Gosh.

I really like this CyberGuy. Like, really. It's making me feel like the biggest nerd, too.

Last week he asked if I'd be comfortable with a phone call. Why, heck yeah, was what I responded only I didn't say it like that. He called Friday night and we've talked every night since for a couple of hours each time. He is FUN to talk to. He gets my sense of humor. He has this kind of almost cynical dry wit. It cracks me up.

He seems to genuinely find me quite interesting and smart.

This is heady stuff.

Nothing has been said yet about meeting and I have been advised to savor this time before we meet (assuming we will).

I really could not stand to have my heart smashed about so I'm trying to be smart about this but wow. I cannot remember when a phone conversation made me feel so giddy.

I'll keep you posted!

Am I Crazy?

I spent over five hours on the phone this weekend with the new CyberGuy. And I'm goobing myself out but I *like* him. He's really funny and smart. We like the same movies, dislike the same random foods, and he gets my sense of humor.

This is so strange.

But in a good way. (-:

He hasn't mentioned anything about meeting (currently he's out of town working and will be back home in about a week) and I am going to try to not be the first one to bring it up. But it is so tempting to just casually drop something like, "We should go to the Mud Island museum sometime," or insert whatever other kitschy Memphis attraction. But I'm not going to.

That should be his call, right?

Imaginary versus Cyber Boyfriend

I think a CyberBoyfriend may be just as good as an Imaginary one. Well, not quite because you can't dictate his behavior and script the conversations like you can with an Imaginary one, but a CyberBoyfriend has its up side.

I have a Cyber, well not quite boyfriend, as we have been emailing only one week, so let's call it a CyberInterest. I really like him and it goobs me out how much I do! I already look forward to his emails - he seems smart and definitely funny. And the most important thing, he seems very interested in ME! Can I just tell you how long it's been since someone has been interested in me?

This is all very exciting.

Of course, the flip side of this is how pathetic I feel at how happy hearing from him makes me. There's probably a group for cyber-co-dependents.

And Another Thing

Are men shrinking? Here is something I thought about last night as I was tossing and turning, unable to sleep, due to the coffee I drank on the drive home from Jackson -- CyberJason was, while not short, definitely not tall. DATE was also of average height. Actually, it kind of seems like most guys I see these days are only of average height.

Call me shallow but I want a manly man, a strapping six feet tall or more.

Update on the cute guys in bookstore thing...I visited three large bookstores in Jackson yesterday. Two were quite crowded, mostly with men. A few women with children, but mostly guys. Out of all them, I spied two cute guys. They were at B&N, hanging out by the magazines, which seems to be where the guys usually congregate at a bookstore - probably because their wives/girlfriends are browsing books. Anyway - one guy, however, I think was gay and the other had that married look about him. And they both were only averge heights - I'd say 5'9", 5'10".

Good grief I hope this is not going to become my new obsession - noticing and observing and comparing how tall every man I see.

Those who know me know I have a raging crush on JM, a local, due to a 30-second conversation we had four months ago that I'm quite sure he couldn't recall if his life depended on it. I think I will not pursue it, however. (sigh) Well, I take that back - if the one person who I know that knows him comes by the office, I will probably mention to him. Other than that, I won't actively try (anymore) to find someone who knows him so they can introduce him to me.

I think I'd rather keep him as my imaginary boyfriend, where he'll cater to my every whim and do wonderfully thoughtful things for me - heart shaped measuring spoons and pink tulips for Valentine's Day, my cover art (ever I get the damn thing) matted and framed the day of my first signing, a goofy Orange County Choppers keychain just because. Yep, an imaginary boyfriend is probably best.

CyberDate Update

Well.

Okay, he's a nice guy. But the spark just wasn't there. And I never, ever would have recognized him from his picture. We stood in the parking lot of Borders for several minutes and I was just hoping he wouldn't try to kiss me. And he didn't so he either the lack of chemistry was mutual or he picked up on my non-vibe. Either way, though, I'm glad that wasn't awkward.

But good grief, I heard myself saying, Well, we'll have to do this again sometime. The other part of my brain was screaming at me, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? It's that southern be-nice thing that's inbred, I think.

Turns out, this dating fun is not so much fun. Like, at all. Making small talk is a pet peeve of mine. I mean, I can do it. But I don't like it. It feels like work.

(Sigh.)

Onward and upward. I will be back in Jackson this coming up weekend for an organizational meeting of the Miss. Writers Guild. This afternoon - and this was the high spot of the date - I happened upon L.M., one of my best friends from high school! She is glamorous and highly traveled and I haven't seen in her in over 10 years. She and her husband have recently moved back to Jackson and I'm going to spend next Saturday evening with her, which will be so much fun. We'll get all caught up and drink too much wine and probably end up singing bad Cher songs from 1990. Good stuff. (-:

CyberDate

It looks like Saturday is the day. CyberGuy seemed to jump on the opportunity for us to meet so Saturday afternoon it is. We're going to meet at a bookstore in Jackson mid-afternoon. That seems safe, in a lot of ways - if we really don't hit it off, then there is no pressure to spend the whole afternoon together and be forced to look for things to talk about. If we do hit it off, then we could go on to dinner. We'll see.

As I don't know this guy, I'll be calling somebody - probably my mother - every hour or two so she'll know I'm not in this guy's trunk or something.

This time, I'm not even worried about what to wear. I just want to be comfortable. I have a whole day beforehand all to myself to enjoy.

Tres Interesting

I just learned this...the word "date" comes from the Latin or Old English word "data" and it's a female part of speech, meaning we're in control, right?

All's Quiet

Have ya noticed I haven't posted much here? There's a reason for that: no action. I don't think this swinging singles thing is going to be all that swinging. (-:

C. at work paid me a great compliment today. She told me she'd been wracking her brain, trying to think of somebody who she could fix me up with. But she said nobody she knew was good enough to set up with me. LOL

There is CyberGuy, who seems pretty cute, according to his picture. We share some common interests -- movies, books, etc. I am going to Jackson this weekend and we may or may not meet then. He has asked about meeting but I can't decide about mentioning that I'll be in town. I would kind of prefer to just enjoy the day on my own.

Maybe I don't really want a date after all. Only I think I do.

Actually what I want more than anything is some freaking QUIET time. Some alone time. Some me time, which is what the little day trip this weekend is all about. I'm going to listen to the Johnny Cash CD that K2 gave me (I have three friends whose names begin with "K"). I'm going to wear my favorite pink sweater. I'm going to a couple of different book stores, where I'll stay for hours. I'm going to drink overpriced coffee. It will be great.

Speaking of bookstores...tell me something, why are there no cute guys at bookstores? I spend a LOT of time in bookstores and I rarely, if ever, see cute guys in there. Why is that, I wonder? There are guys there, for sure, but they seem to fall in one of two categories -- frat boy with laptop or older man. What they have in common is both species hog the chairs at Barnes & Noble.

Where are the cute 33- to 45-year-olds, my prefered age range?

If you have any ideas, please post comments and let me know.

But Wait - I'm Also...

The Progressive Girl

Moderation in all things, excess in nothing. -- Epicurus

Imagine that the Girl Next Door moved to the big city. Think of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. She's America's sweetheart with an urban sensibility. She's a post-Christian spiritualist, a pre-Monica Clintonite, and a dues-paying member of at least one social-change organization like NOW, Planned Parenthood, or the Sierra Club. You won't find her at an Earth First or PETA meeting, though. Those are the Granola Girl's stomping grounds. Progressive Girls want the world to be a better place, but they live out their politics in a moderate, left-of-center way.

If you are going to date a Progressive Girl, the one sin you can commit is to be a chameleon. Molding your opinions to fit hers will lose her respect. One very positive thing you can do is offer her new experiences -- the Progressive Girl is fearless about trying new things. Whether it's pluralism, skydiving, Asian peanut sauce, or this book, the Progressive Girl is always looking for new ideas.

She Might Be a Progressive Girl if:
She drives: a small SUV but really wishes it got better mileage; once she can get a good hybrid, she will.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: just about anything.
She begins her sentences with: "Susan Sarandon says..."
She'd never: pass up the chance for a new experience.
She owns any of the following: a water filter, a tabletop fountain, an acre of rain forest, a mutt from the pound.

Wanna know more about the Progressive Girl? We’ll tell you which CDs to play, shoes to wear, magazines to put on the coffee table, flowers to bring ... and of course, what to cook. Pick up a copy of Cooking to Hook Up.