Who Knew?

According to this quiz - and I do love quizzes - at www.cookingtohookup.com, I'm a Career Girl:

"I have a head for business and a bod for sin." -- Melanie Griffith in Working Girl

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to hit a home run with the Career Girl. However, it wouldn't hurt to be an EVP, SVP, or CEO of a Fortune 500 consortium. Bottom line: You can achieve synergy with the Career Girl by strategically leveraging your core competencies in order to deliver value-added, win-win solutions. At the end of the day, the Career Girl appreciates a proactive, results-driven approach. What you need, my friend, is an operational game plan.

If the paragraph above leaves you feeling a little out of the loop, here's the English translation: You don't have to be brilliant to deeply impress the Career Girl, but it wouldn't hurt to be a senior executive at a large, successful company. In simple terms, you can build a common bond with the Career Girl by focusing attention on your own basic talents in order to show her how a relationship with you could be a good thing for everybody. Once everything is said and done, the Career Girl is looking for a guy who is upwardly mobile, forward-looking, and, above all, isn't just letting life happen to him. So, you can't just let this date happen to you, either.

She Might Be a Career Girl if:
She drives: a BMW, Acura, or Mercedes.
She can talk for more than ten minutes about: her company's stock valuation.
She begins her sentences with: "My financial advisor (or broker) says..."
She'd never: pass up lunch with the CEO.
She owns any of the following: the latest and fanciest cell phone with a headset, a laptop, a Franklin Covey planner (with the convenient inner pocket for a PDA).

Wanna know more about the Career Girl? We’ll tell you which CDs to play, shoes to wear, magazines to put on the coffee table, flowers to bring ... and of course, what to cook. Pick up a copy of Cooking to Hook Up.

And Another Thing

Another gripe I have, while I’m at it, is about those books and movies where the central character suffers the same. In this scenario, her friends are all concerned because she won’t put herself back "out there," because she’s too scared to "try again." Apparently, at some time in the past, all of said friends had gone to great lengths to fix up this girl and for reasons that are usually unclear, the central character has "dropped out" of the dating scene and half-heartedly protests that she is "happy with the way my life is now" (I’m reciting verbatim - that’s what all the quotation marks are about) and why can’t everyone just see that she is truly content and just let her be.

I find this patently unbelievable, mainly because whose friends have the freaking time to worry about you because, while you’re happy, you’re not seeing anybody?? Um, hello, you’re doing good if your friends worry about you when you’re headfirst in a gallon of Ben and Jerry’s and are mainlining cheap wine. But you’re happy - forget about it. If you’re doing good, then they’re going to need you to listen to all of THEIR problems.

Everyone is way too caught up in their own dramas and tragedies to worry about someone who is just fine. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems.

Of course, maybe I’m just jealous and a wee bit bitter. Because not a one of my friends has voiced concern because I’m not back "out there." Admittedly, I haven’t single all that long. And I guess that since, I have been on a Date I am technically “out there.” But still.

Glad I Wasn't Waiting By the Phone

Realized yesterday that Date hasn't called this week. He mentioned after lunch that he'd call me next week.

Maybe he was bored, as I was, just a wee little bit.

Reality?

Have any of you have seen a movie or read a book where the central character is female and is actively pursued by a guy tailor-made for her only she can’t see it because she’s too bruised from some past relationship or other such nonsense? The scene is almost always the same word for word, where there is some big confrontation and the guy in question says, all wounded, "You’re so afraid of being hurt! Can’t you see I’m not that guy!" etc., etc.

Has any guy in the history of the world ever actually said those words? No. Of course not. Those screenplays and books were written by WOMEN. Women who have very healthy imaginations, might I add.

Not that there aren’t women in that situation (Although, frankly, I find it hard to believe a woman would rebuff a guy who clearly cares for her and is right for her, mainly because this is a phenomenon that I’ve never seen happen, not that it *couldn’t* happen, I’ve just never seen it. Ever.) but puh-leez a guy who would actually A) intuit that this woman had apparently been hurt at some point and B) actually care enough to pursue it. The Tooth Fairy is more believable.

I know what you are all saying, "Think of the challenge! Men love a challenge!" Most men do enjoy a challenge yes, but a whole lot of high maintenance trouble, no. Not so much.

Lunch

Well, lunch was, it was fine. Conversation did not flow by any stretch. It was kind of work keeping the conversation going, really. There was a little of that Saturday night, not really, but kind of, and I chalked it up to first date nerves.

Maybe he's kind of shy. I don't know.

He's still cute, though. (-: And apologized for being late. I hadn't realized he was, but apparently he was five minutes picking me up. So he's still very nice.

Said he'd give me a call next week and we'd see what was going on - mentioned that he knew the holidays were busy, etc.

Hm. I don't know.

At any rate, there is another possible potential maybe guy on the horizon. He came in the law office where I worked this summer and I remember his asking me questions about something and it wasn't until an hour or so after he left did it occur to me that he was probably just trying to make conversation.

Apparently then I wasn't ready to date really. Buddy, I am now.

His name has popped up a couple of times and now I'm on a mission to officially meet him. He's divorced, very cute, a business owner who's apparently smart. He's older than I am, which I love.

I HAVE to meet this guy before some other divorcee gets her hooks into him!

See, this way, if I have two possible options, it helps split my obsession so I don't get too wrapped in any one person.

Lunch Date

Woo hoo! Date called this morning and asked me to have lunch tomorrow - yea!

A Little More Information

Today I saw the friend of my mother's who is also friends with Date, the one who helped bring out the DATE. She said that he had called her yesterday to tell her how the date went. He told her that we had no trouble making conversation and that he'd enjoyed it.

I made the comment to her that I was glad to hear this because I couldn't get a read at all from as to if he was having fun or what. She said that it sounded like he'd had fun and that he had called her to tell her about it.

This is good, right? Maybe I was hoping that she'd say, "Oh, he's definitely going to call," or something along those lines. I always want MORE. Oh, well - I'm thinking that what he told her must have been positive because if it was otherwise, I don't think she would have brought it up at all.

The Rest

Okay, where was I?

I can't remember. It seems like I may have hit all the high points.

He is probably one of the nicest guys I've ever met. But he is also very cards-close-to-the-chest. I could not get any kind of read whatsoever about what he thought about me. You know, if he was thinking, "My gosh I have never been so bored in my entire life and can I please leave now?" or "This woman is amazing! I must see her again!" or somewhere in the middle.

At any rate, at the end of the evening he said something about our having lunch together sometime, I told him I'd like that. He said he'd give me a call sometime, probably the day before. I said that he knew where I worked and had my number so that would be fine.

Oh and we never traded business cards. But by golly at least I was prepared for it.

So now I'm a DATER.

THE DATE

5:30 p.m. I'm exhausted - it's been a busy day. So I go ahead and leisurely get in the shower, fix hair, put on makeup, and don the outfit, taking my sweet little time. Glance at my watch - freaking only five minutes after six. I've got a looooooong way to go until 7:30.

6:06 Have first glass of wine.

This is the goobiest thing and I can't believe I'm admitting it, but next I made a business card. You know, just in case we do that self-important professional thing where we exhange business cards. In my defense, I do need some anyway and I've been told that more than once. Really. Besides, designing them and printing and cutting them out helped eat up some time.

In the meantime, also pick up a jillion Red Hot candies that dear son repeatedly spills on the carpet. I think he does it it for the fun of hearing me say, "Don't spill those! Watch what you're doing! Don't eat those off the floor!"

Start on second glass of wine.

At 7:22 the phone rings. It's Date, calling to say he is running about 5 minutes late. How nice that was.

At 7:36 he drives up and rings the doorbell and yea! he's cute! I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I had imagined a beard and potbelly. He has neither - blondish hair, slender, and just cute. As I'd heard he was into horses, I had also half-expected he may have on worn jeans, boots, and a big ole belt buckle. Nope - nice dress shirt and slacks. And boots, I think, but I like boots. I like jeans, too, as far as that goes, but ya know.

Conversation is a little stiltled on the 30-minute drive to the restaurant. Not awkward, just not quite flowing. That first little bit is always trying.

He had been to the freaking coast and back yesterday! Had taken a load of food, clothes, and toys to a shelter. Like I said, very nice guy. But good grief I would have been so tired.

We got to a restaurant I like that he had already picked. We stayed there for something like two hours -- conversation picked up. And I was quite surprised at how quickly the time had gone by, so that must have been a good sign.

I can't believe this but I have to stop now. Dear son's Christmas program is this morning and I've got to get ready to go.

Not to leave anyone hanging - we had a nice time and it sounds like I may be hearing from him again.

Update more later, but it will be this afternoon sometime!

Countdown

Four hours to go and I am quite calm. I think everyone would be proud. Actually, I've been so freaking busy today, I haven't had time to think (too much anyway) about THE DATE.

I have been helping my mother since about 8:00 a.m. We've been cooking candy and cookies for a thing tomorrow afternoon and straightening up the house. The family is coming next weekend and we will have our Christmas celebration on Sunday afternoon. My mother is a tizzy and saying that she's not. But I know tizzying when I see it and it stresses me out big-time. So I'm ready for tonight.

At work yesterday C. suggested I have a glass (ha - when I was typing this, I started typing "bottle" rather than "glass" -- Freudian slip, anyone??) of wine while I'm getting dressed. On the phone today, L. suggested I have two glasses.

Yesterday I met someone else who knows him. She asked if I liked to ride (horses, she meant, just so there's no confusion). I told her I had a time or two, that my dad has horses. She said thatthe date was a cowboy.

Interesting.

More News

THE DATE outfit is selected, thank goodness. Many thanks to C., who I work with, for bringing the perfect shirt.

Last night at church, mentioned to a friend of my mother's that I have a new place to live AND have plans for the weekend: THE DATE. Turns out she knows the guy and went on and on about how sweet he is and what a great guy he is. He is friends with one of her mutual friends, and I know that he (the mutual friend guy - again, this rapidly gets confusing) is a fine person. I'm betting that means he is also very nice. Also learned that he enjoys riding horses and recently returned from a trip to the mountains (not sure which mountains) trail riding.

Now I'm not so much nervous as I am just looking forward to it. At the same time, today is already Thursday, which means the next day is Friday, which is dangerously close to Saturday. The time will either fly or crawl on Saturday. But I should be plenty busy doing other stuff so maybe I won't obsess.

Maybe.

This sounds a bit over the top, but for a while there I was wondering if I would ever have another date. Wasn't altogether sure I wanted one. Wait, I definitely wanted a date, it was the resulting relationship that can happen that made me a little apprehensive.

And now I'm actually going on one. Cool!

Here we go

First foray into the dating world is coming up soon. THE DATE, and that is the only way I can think of it, is Saturday night 7:30 CST.

It is a loooong complicated story as to how this all came about. Date and I are from the same town but he’s a few years older than I am and I really don’t remember him. It seems he had been interested in me, but was waiting until the divorce was final before asking me out - wise move.

Several months ago, I was at the home of some friends of my parent’s. Her husband asked if I had a beau. I said no, and I didn’t sigh wistfully I don’t think, and I asked did he know a good man. He said he might. Let him think on it. Weeks later, I mentioned it to my mother in passing. Some time later she asked her friend who it was, she asked her husband and he thought about it and said, "I’m not going to tell you."

O-kay.

Oh, the X and I have been separated for six months. Just for a little background.

Fast forward a few months to this week, when my mother had lunch with her friend, who mentioned again that D. (short for DATE) wanted to call me. Mom said something along the lines of, Well, why doesn’t he? And that night he did.

Sounds like a very nice guy. He’s in sales, which I like. And he’s older which I also really like. Because if I’m going to date, I want it to be a grownup. Then again, age isn’t necessarily an indicator of maturity. Back to his job - I’m glad he’s in sales because if nothing else, I know we’ll be able to carry on a conversation.

The last date I had, a hundred years ago with X, went something like this:
ME: How are you doing?
Good. What about you?
ME: Doing great! How’s work going?
X : Good. What about you?
ME: What else is going on?
X : Not much. What about you?

It was excruciating. Which should have been my first clue. Actually, there were red flags jumping up everywhere. But noooo...I was starry-eyed and stubbornly ignored my intuition, which always comes back to haunt you.

So. First date coming up. Still have the whole "what to wear" dilemma. Going with black pants, because it’s hard to go wrong with them. But what kind of shirt? Or sweater? Or blouse?? Decisions, decision, decisions. And I freaking hate clothes. I’m not a style maven at all. Thank goodness for a couple of friends who are.

Like one at work. When I mentioned I had a DATE, the very next thing words out of her mouth were, "What are you wearing?"

I have finally found a place to live. However, it will be later this month, and not before Saturday, before I can move in. Meaning he’ll have to come pick me up at my parent’s house like we’re going to the Homecoming dance or something.

And this poor guy. When he comes to pick me up Saturday night, there will be my parents, my child, my brother, AND a friend of my mother’s from high school.

Let me share what my friend, J., said: "You have GOT to blog about the date with that set-up! Even if it is just to me! That has the makings of a sitcom episode. I am so excited for you though! I can't imagine what a first date feels like again. On the one hand, I know you are extremely nervous. I mean, what if he was that guy that you never knew his name but he always kind of creeped you out? On the other hand, I know you are extremely excited. What if he was that guy that you always thought was so cute but you never knew who he was because he was older? PLEASE have your dad and Lan be cleaning shotguns when he picks you up! Hey, all of this rings of another book. The Southern Newly Singles Guide to Dating in the Delta."

I have learned through my source (my mother’s friend whose husband works with D.) that he likes to ride horses. My dad does, too, and has two horses so maybe he thinks I do, as well. Not so much. Well, I take that back. The two times that I did, I enjoyed it very much. Don’t know why I don’t more often except that Dad’s horses haven’t been there for a while and then I hate to ask him about it - it seems like an awful lot of trouble to just go prancing around for an hour or two.